“Things are sweeter when they’re lost. I know–because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly and when I got it it turned to dust in my hand.”
~The Beautiful & The Damned; F. Scott Fitzgerald
I’m sure we’ve all lost something we wanted so badly, to our own painful downfall. Whether it was a lover or a friendship, it hurts as deeply as you loved it. Sometimes I think I’ll never get over these things, times in my life. It’s what drives much of my work, gives it meaning. Without a muse, I’d be a photographer… not an artist.
I don’t regret these things. They give me life and memories of times where I wouldn’t sleep, because I was living in the moment… listening to you breathe… looking at your hands. You were a stranger to me, but I felt most comfortable in your arms and swimming in your thoughts.
Working with my father’s 1936 Oldsmobile has been good for the old soul in me. I’ve been reading and watching some of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s more notable works. Set during the 1920’s and 30’s… I feel like I’ve lived in those times before. Getting lost in fictional drama, other people’s drama, it’s been soothing. Reminding me that I once felt passionate about another tragic soul. And just maybe, I might do it again.
This is my second image from the newest Duality series. There’s a lot more going on in this scene, I’ve illustrated my own day and night habits.
I try to think logically in the mornings, it’s hard to wake up but I know I need to get my work done early before my distractions start chiming in. This side of my brain has loads of common sense and tends to be straight forward, well organized and rational. I tend to be a little more OCD in this mindset. It’s how things get done around my house. This is the stress inducing Melody, she speaks her mind and isn’t afraid of offending anyone.
While the night time is for my right brained activities. I stay up very late and work creating until I’m exhausted and pass out. I research projects endlessly, brainstorming my ideas for the week. I work without concern for organization or logical thinking. It’s all imagination and vision when I am in this mode. I tend to be more emotional when I am creative. I reminisce and use my past experiences to drive my work. This Melody is more prone to stay inside for a week while she creates her newest masterpiece. She doesn’t care for the general public and finds the inside of her home and her garden a bubble from the rest of the world.
For this image I was inspired by Dave Hill. His composites have been pushing me to try harder. Occasionally I look back on the photographers that have influenced me over the years, and I find something new. Some new technique I never noticed before… it was confidence this time. The confidence to create an image that I am not experienced at. This was my first transitional composite. Going from day to night in one frame is exciting for me. It shows me how far I’ve come in the last year. My concept is evolving and all I have to do is work hard and maintain this balance.
Thank you for checking out my progress. It’s going to be a fantastic fall, stay tuned for another installment of Duality by Melody.